Friends and Flow

Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures.
Acts 18:24 (NIV)

Many years ago, I gave a message. I don’t even remember what the message was about, to be honest. What I do remember, however, is that in preparation for the message I made a list of key relationships in my life journey and charted them on a timeline of my life. These “key relationships” meant that they were friends who had a significant presence, role, and impact on my life and spiritual journey.

I remember that the exercise taught me a couple of major lessons. First, I realized that there are different types of relationships. Some relationships were significant for a key season of my journey, but then that relationship ended. I call these “relationships for a season.” Some relationships weave in and out of life in multiple seasons spread out across the journey. I think of these as “recurring relationships.” And then there are relationships that I’ve come to refer to as “Life” relationships because it doesn’t matter the time and space between correspondence, the relationship runs so deep that no amount of time or distance diminishes it.

The events of today’s chapter roughly take place around 51-52 AD. It’s been fifteen years since Paul’s fateful trip to Damascus with murderous intention to persecute the followers of Jesus there. Jesus appeared to him on the road and, in an instant, he went from being the disciples’ greatest adversary to becoming their greatest advocate. For fifteen years Paul has been traveling throughout Greece and Italy sharing Jesus’ Message to any and all who will listen to him.

What struck me about today’s chapter is that as the Jesus Movement expanded throughout the Roman Empire a new cast of characters entered the Story. We meet Priscilla and Aquila, believers from Rome who will become key relationships in Paul’s life and ministry. Then there’s Apollos, a man who simply shows up out of nowhere, but he will have a major, positive impact on the Jesus Movement and Paul will refer to him with great respect in his letters to the believers in Corinth.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about the lessons I’ve learned through these key relationships. First of all, hindsight allows me to see that there is a certain “flow” to relationships that weave in and out of life. It’s rare that a relationship begins with some type of conscious decision. I’ve never “chosen” a friend by looking at a person across the room and saying “I want that person to be a key relationship in my life!” There is life flow to key relationships in my story that I don’t control. Trust the Story.

This brings me to another lesson, which is that in trusting the Story, I’ve ceased to have expectations of friends and friendships with regard to what a relationship will be in my life. It may be for a season, it may be recurring, or it may be for Life, but that’s not really something I control. It is what it is. Trying to control it only leads to awkwardness, anxiety, and disappointment.

And, this leads to a third lesson I’ve learned, which is to accept and appreciate each type of key relationship for its role in both my life and spiritual journey. At times I have grieved that a relationship for a season was only for a season, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be grateful for that friend and that relationship that impacted me for that season.

And who knows? Perhaps today will be a day when a significant relationship flows into my life, my journey, my Story. I have no expectations, but I’m always open to how God wants to flow.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Division

Division (CaD Acts 15) – Wayfarer

Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord.
Acts 15:37-40 (NIV)

I have a dear friend I have not spoken with in almost 20 years. This friend told me that I had done something, or said something, that wounded him deeply. He said that he knew that I had no clue what I’d done to wound him, but he also refused to tell me what it was despite attempts to make amends and to make it right. I eventually concluded that I couldn’t continue in a relationship under the constant cloud of guilt/shame of knowing that I had caused an injury but was given no opportunity or recourse to make it right. I love my friend and grieve the loss of our relationship. Nevertheless, I decided that I would wait for my friend to be willing to tell me what I had done.

I’m still waiting.

Along my life journey, I’ve observed and experienced conflict and division between believers, both interpersonal and corporate. The conflicts have ranged from silly, to personal, to matters of faith and/or belief. In some cases, the conflicts were amicably resolved. In other cases, they resulted in amicable division. In yet other cases, they resulted in division and anger that eventually became amicable respect. In some cases, I have observed conflict and division that appear never to have been resolved.

Today’s chapter describes two forms of division. The first one has been brewing for some time within the events Luke describes in Acts. The Jesus Movement began as a Jewish sect. Jesus never hid the fact that He intended His Message and His mission to be for all people “to the ends of the earth.” Nevertheless, there were good Jews who wanted to keep the Jesus Movement to remain a strictly Jewish sect. To be Jewish, men had to be circumcised. So some began teaching that non-Jewish believers had to be circumcised to be part of the Jesus Movement. They were essentially saying, “Become a Jew first, then you can be a believer in Jesus.”

This dispute is handled capably by the leaders of the Jesus Movement. Everyone got together. Both sides were discussed. The leaders made a judgment that non-Jewish Gentiles did not have to become Jewish and males did not have to be circumcised to be believers.

The second division is personal and unexpected. Paul and Barnabas decide they should travel to visit all the local gatherings they’d started on Cyprus and Asia Minor back in chapters 13 and 14. Barnabas, ever the encourager, wants to include John Mark, who began that first journey with them but left them early in the journey. Paul, offended by John Mark bailing on them the last time, refuses to include him. Tempers flare. Voices are raised. The disagreement is sharp. Paul and Barnabas part ways. Barnabas takes John Mark and sets out on his own. Paul recruits Silas and sets out on his own.

We don’t know why John Mark bailed on that first journey. We do know from the letters of Paul and Peter that eventually John Mark became a close associate of Peter and was later reconciled to Paul. Paul wanted John Mark with him in his final days. Paul also would later write with respect and admiration for all Barnabas was doing within the Movement. One commentary I read this morning said that Paul and Barnabas’ conflict resulted in four people on the mission instead of two. God sometimes uses even human conflict and division for divine purposes.

In the quiet this morning, I realized that I have come to embrace the reality that there will be division among human beings and groups of human beings. It’s part of the nature of this fallen world east of Eden. But I have also embraced Paul’s metaphor of the “Body of Christ.” The body not only has many appendages, but it also has many entire systems that function pretty independently within the whole. Some cells and organs function independently of one another, but both are essential for the health and well-being of the body. So it is with individuals and groups. We sometimes learn that we can function independently of one another while both contribute to Jesus’ Movement and its mission.

I said a prayer for my estranged friend this morning. Over the years I have received reports of where God has led him and rejoice that he appears to be well and doing the things he’s been led to do. I love him. Perhaps we will one day see one another again. Perhaps he will finally be able to tell me what I did to wound him so deeply and I will be able to seek forgiveness and make amends. Perhaps whatever that was will have passed away with time. Sometimes that happens, too. In the meantime, I rejoice that we are both well and contributing to the health and well-being of the whole.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Best of 2023 #7: Eli’s Unintended Lesson

I’m on vacation for three weeks. While I’m gone, please enjoy the top 15 posts from 2023 based on total number of page views and podcast plays. Cheers!

Eli's Unintended Lesson (CaD Job 35) – Wayfarer

How much less, then, will [God] listen
    when you say that you do not see him,
that your case is before him
    and you must wait for him.
Job 35:14 (NIV)

Eli the younger is a fascinating character in the larger context of the Job Story. He isn’t mentioned at all in the opening introduction of Job’s three friends. He just kind of appears out of nowhere once Job and the three elder friends have finished their conversation and then presumes, as the youngest person with the least life experience, to teach the rest of the men wisdom.

What a twit.

In yesterday’s post/podcast I mentioned one of the life lessons I carried with me from the days of my divorce: I don’t know what I don’t know. It seems to have resonated with a lot of people. As I meditated on today’s chapter of young Eli’s continued know-it-all blather, there was another lesson from the days of my divorce that came to mind.

I received a long, hand written letter during that period of time. It was about ten pages written on both sides. The entire letter was a scripture laden treatise on the unforgivable sin of divorce and a pronouncement of my eternal condemnation to hell.

Three observations: First of all, it was a letter – not a personal visit to say, “Tom, I hear you’re going through a rough time. Let me buy you a cup of coffee. I’d love to hear how you’re doing.” Second of all, I and my family are going through one of the most difficult and painful of human experiences and you want to take this moment to condemn me? As the saying goes, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” Finally, the ironic thing is that the person who wrote the letter had a wife who left him decades before, divorced him, and got remarried but the letter-writer refused to acknowledge the fact. So, is your letter about me or is really about you?

What a twit.

Throughout young Eli’s four speeches, Job remains silent.

I get it. I immediately threw the letter away.

I do find a lesson to be learned from Eli the younger’s self-important arguments, but not the lessons I think he intended. The lesson I’m taking away from his discourses so far is that I don’t want to be a twit to my friends when they’re suffering and struggling. Maybe a little compassion and a lot less self-importance and condemnation.

It’s been in the worst stretches of my life journey that I learned who my friends really are.

Chapter to read for tomorrow’s Best of 2023: Jeremiah 9

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

No Worries

No Worries (CaD Lk 12) – Wayfarer

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”
Luke 12:25 (NIV)

Wendy and I are blessed to share our earthly journey with good friends. By “good friends,” I mean people with whom we not only socialize but also dig in and have life-giving conversations. We have spent entire days with our friends doing nothing but sitting and having one long conversation about life that goes into some deep personal places. Some of our friends have even been teased and ridiculed by other friends who are unashamed in their desire to keep their conversations in the wading pool.

Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I have found that to be true as I’ve trekked along on this earthly journey. My life journey has been one of constant examination. I have friends who are entrenched in the shallow end of life’s pool and are intimidated by the very thought of sitting down with a counselor or therapist. They laugh when I tell them how many different ones I’ve seen along the way. Add to that a handful of mentors I’ve spent time with during the early and middle stretches of the journey. On top of that is a layer of inner-circle friends going all the way back to early childhood who are always willing to dive into the deep end with me, even if we haven’t spoken to one another for years.

It is through all of these various conversations of examination that I’ve learned my own patterns of thought and behavior, both healthy and unhealthy. It’s through these relationships that I’ve found a safe place to address my blind spots with others who are gracious, loving, and forgiving. It is through these conversations and relationships that I’ve grown to be a better person.

One of the things I have learned about myself is how anxiety and worry manifest themselves in my life. When I worry, the object of my worry sits on the frontal lobe of my brain like a giant landslide over the road. I’m an internal processor, and so my thoughts fixate on what I’m anxious about even though I continue to project to the world that all systems are normal. I wake up out of a deep sleep at 3:00 in the morning as my brain mulls and spins and chews on this thing I’m worried about. My productivity drops and my ability to be fully present with others wanes.

In today’s chapter, Luke records core pieces of Jesus’ teaching. One of the major themes is Jesus telling His followers to not worry or be anxious about anything. The antidote He prescribes is two-fold. First, He tells me to expand my vision. Rather than myopically focusing on this earthly life and its worries, He wants me to have faith to see that God’s eternal kingdom which lies at the end of this earthly journey is more real than what I experience on this earth with my five senses. Then, He desires for me to know and experience God’s abundant love, generosity, and provision.

“Do not be afraid, little flock,” Jesus says, “for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Through self-examination, and through trial-and-error, I have learned to recognize when my mind is fixated and spinning in worry and anxiety. I’ve learned that I have to acknowledge it, say it out loud, or write it out on a page. This allows me to process it with someone else who I know and trust to be objective, loving, and non-judgmental. Finally, I have learned that I must consciously remind myself of God’s love, promises, generosity, and provision. Often, I do this by looking back and recounting all of the ways God has faithfully provided and guided me in the past. If I work these steps, I find that my worry loses its hold on me as my faith kicks in.

I would never have learned these steps, however, if I hadn’t first learned how worthwhile it is to live an “examined” life.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Eli’s Unintended Lesson

Eli's Unintended Lesson (CaD Job 35) – Wayfarer

How much less, then, will [God] listen
    when you say that you do not see him,
that your case is before him
    and you must wait for him.
Job 35:14 (NIV)

Eli the younger is a fascinating character in the larger context of the Job Story. He isn’t mentioned at all in the opening introduction of Job’s three friends. He just kind of appears out of nowhere once Job and the three elder friends have finished their conversation and then presumes, as the youngest person with the least life experience, to teach the rest of the men wisdom.

What a twit.

In yesterday’s post/podcast I mentioned one of the life lessons I carried with me from the days of my divorce: I don’t know what I don’t know. It seems to have resonated with a lot of people. As I meditated on today’s chapter of young Eli’s continued know-it-all blather, there was another lesson from the days of my divorce that came to mind.

I received a long, hand written letter during that period of time. It was about ten pages written on both sides. The entire letter was a scripture laden treatise on the unforgivable sin of divorce and a pronouncement of my eternal condemnation to hell.

Three observations: First of all, it was a letter – not a personal visit to say, “Tom, I hear you’re going through a rough time. Let me buy you a cup of coffee. I’d love to hear how you’re doing.” Second of all, I and my family are going through one of the most difficult and painful of human experiences and you want to take this moment to condemn me? As the saying goes, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” Finally, the ironic thing is that the person who wrote the letter had a wife who left him decades before, divorced him, and got remarried but the letter-writer refused to acknowledge the fact. So, is your letter about me or is really about you?

What a twit.

Throughout young Eli’s four speeches, Job remains silent.

I get it. I immediately threw the letter away.

I do find a lesson to be learned from Eli the younger’s self-important arguments, but not the lessons I think he intended. The lesson I’m taking away from his discourses so far is that I don’t want to be a twit to my friends when they’re suffering and struggling. Maybe a little compassion and a lot less self-importance and condemnation.

It’s been in the worst stretches of my life journey that I learned who my friends really are.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Generalities and Perceptions

Generalities and Perceptions (CaD Job 30) – Wayfarer

Yet when I hoped for good, evil came;
    when I looked for light, then came darkness.
Job 30:26 (NIV)

I was listening to a song yesterday that hadn’t been in my queue in many years. I listened to it a lot back in the day. It’s about the unexpected joy of meeting “the one” when life is a simple as getting married, settling down, and having children. I played this song a lot when Wendy and I were engaged because “the one” the songwriter meets is a girl with “mahogany hair, and eyes of sweet amethyst,” which is just so Wendy. The song so aptly captured those days.

As I drove and sang along with the lyrics it struck me that it does all seem so simple when you’re high on love and, as my friend the marriage therapist says, “The pixie dust hasn’t worn off yet.” It does seem so simple at that waypoint on life’s journey: get married, buy a house, have children. But, things don’t always happen as envisioned. Wendy and I got married, bought the cute little house, but the children part would never come to fruition.

In a moment of synchronicity, shorty after I contemplated these things, I found out that a young person I know has been diagnosed with cancer. I officiated their wedding just a few summers ago.

Sometimes, life doesn’t turn out like we envisioned.

Today’s chapter is part two of Job’s closing arguments in the mock trial he envisions having with God. In yesterday’s chapter he waxed nostalgic about how good his life was before the fateful day when his life was turned upside down; The day everything went from being blessed to being cursed. Now, Job contrasts the realities of his suffering with “the good ol’ days” when life was as simple as doing the right thing, and being blessed for it.

Amidst the bitterness of his suffering, Job once again accuses God of being the perpetrator of his misery. He not only accuses God of attacking him ruthlessly, but also of standing there staring and gloating like some kind of psychopath.

Job then states that nothing changed in his life or behavior that would justify the curse his life has become. For so long, the Santa Clause formula worked for him. Job was a good man. He was generous and gracious to those less fortunate, and his life was blessed with wealth, health, and honor in his community. Nothing changed in his behavior, he argues, and yet the blessings were stolen away and the terror of physical suffering became his 24/7 reality. Based on his previous experience, Job had every reason to expect a life of goodness and light, but he now finds himself experiencing nothing but evil and darkness.

Sometimes, life doesn’t turn out like we envisioned.

As I meditated on this reality in the quiet this morning, I was reminded of a couple of observations I’ve made along my life journey. Those visions I had of how life would turn out are based on generalities and perceptions. Yes, for a large group of humans, life appears to follow a general pattern: childhood, high school, college, career, marriage, children, climbing the ladder, empty nest, grandchildren, retirement, and golden years. And, my perception of those around me is that everyone has a “normal” life in which these things happen routinely with little trouble.

But generalities and perceptions are not reality. I’ve been blessed to spend most of my life in intimate friendships with a large handful of very different friends. A casual observer could easily look at any of these friends and perceive a blessed life following the general pattern. However, they don’t know the things I know about my life, or the lives of my friends. They haven’t witnessed the struggles, the tears, the bitter disappointments, the chronic physical suffering, the diagnoses, the chemo, the family insanity, the miscarriages, the lay-offs and terminations, the affairs, the coming out of the closet, the marital struggles, the deep depressions or the suicide attempts. These are all part of the the life realities I’ve experienced walking alongside the every day “blessed” lives of friends and loved ones. Yet these negative realities and struggles are hidden from the casual observer who simply sees individuals and couples whose lives fit the general pattern and appear relatively blessed and trouble-free.

In the person of Job I find an extreme black and white contrast. Once again, I find that we as humans like things reduced to simple binaries, and Job gives us what we like: he boils his circumstances down to a simple black-and-white. The past was good, his present is bad. He was in the light, but now everything is darkness. I confess that life and the evil one have thrown Job an exceptionally wicked curveball. Yet, I also know from 57 years of experience that life is not a simple binary. Even the most apparently blessed lives have painful struggles. In the midst of my deepest suffering, I still have blessings to which I can desperately cling.

Sometimes, life doesn’t turn out like we envisioned.

Life rarely turns out like we envisioned.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Peeps and Projections

Peeps and Projections (CaD Job 23) – Wayfarer

“If only I knew where to find him;
    if only I could go to his dwelling!”
Job 23:3 (NIV)

It’s been a lovely and lazy Labor Day weekend for Wendy and me. For years, we’ve had a standing date with some of our favorite peeps at the lake. After years of doing it together, it’s has become an annual waypoint to mark both the change of seasons and as well as another year on this life journey. It’s always a joy.

As I had kind of switched off from my normal routine, one of the things I allowed myself to do was to explore a little more deeply into social media. I read things people were posting and tweeting, and then read replies. I read things from “influencers” on both sides of the political spectrum. It didn’t take long for me to back out and walk away. I was appalled at what I read. All of it.

One of the things that stood out to me on my brief sojourn into the medium was the projections individuals make about those with whom they disagree. It’s not just the name calling, the demonizing, and what is ass-u-med about others that struck me (though that’s bad enough). It was also the simplistic projection of motives that amazed me. How easily we follow media into reducing complex issues and individuals into simple binaries in which we feel justified judging, hating, and dismissing.

One of the things that I’ve always loved about Jesus’ choice of The Twelve was the fact that He chose both a liberal Roman sympathizer (Matthew) and a militant ultra-conservative (Simon the Zealot). There’s a brilliant scene in The Chosen in which Jesus sends out The Twelve on assignment. The whole scene is brilliant and worth 15 minutes of your time, but around the 11:30 mark in the clip Jesus pairs Matthew and Simon together for the journey. It’s classic:

This all came to mind this morning as I read Job’s response to his friend, Eli’s, latest discourse. What struck me about Job’s commentary were the projections Job was casting on God. The most stark projection was that God was somehow in hiding from Job:

“But if I go to the east, he is not there;
    if I go to the west, I do not find him.
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
    when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.”

This is such a stark contrast to the lyrics of David’s psalm 139:

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

All of the Great Story sides with David on this one. In his letter to Jesus’ followers in Colossae, Paul reveals Jesus as the force that holds all matter in the universe together (Col 1:17). In short, there is no where that one can hide from God. God is omnipresent. Asking for God to be present is sort of like asking oxygen to be present. The very request ignores an obvious reality.

ln view of this, it seems that Job’s suffering and his tragic circumstances have created in him a case of acute spiritual myopia. I can see the symptoms throughout the chapter. Not only does Job project that God is somehow in hiding, but he also projects that God has it out for him (vs. 14), that God wants to cause more bad things to happen to him (vs. 14).

Not that I blame Job for this. The Great Story also reveals that trials and sufferings are part of the process of spiritual formation and maturation. Job’s acute spiritual myopia is simply a symptom of this process. Struggle is a natural part of the growth process.

In the quiet this morning, I think back to this weekend with our peeps. Ten years ago our friends were struggling through pregnancies, babies, and young children. The establishing of careers and settling of homes. They are now struggling through the parenting of teenagers and preteens, mid-course career choices, and the impending realities of kids in college and aging parents. What I observed, however, was just how much each of our friends have grown, matured, and changed in that time. Each is more self-aware. Wisdom has been gained. Perseverance, patience, faith, and hope are present in each of them in greater measure. Perhaps most important, love is present in greater measure. I observe that we more intimately know both one another’s strengths and weaknesses. In this knowledge, we are able to serve one another out of our strengths, and shore up one another in their weaknesses.

I contrast this with Job and his three amigos. When it comes to my struggles in life, I’m glad we have great friends. Instead of pointing fingers, casting blame, and projecting assumptions, they reach out with gracious and generous helping hands.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

You’ve Got a Friend

You've Got a Friend (CaD Job 16) – Wayfarer

Even now my witness is in heaven;
    my advocate is on high.
Job 16:19

Job needs a friend.

He certainly doesn’t have a good friend in the trio that have joined him on the dusty refuse heap. As I heard often in Looney Tunes cartoons growing up: “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” Eli, Bill, and Z have been of no comfort to the suffering Job, and in fact they’ve only rubbed proverbial salt into Job’s festering skin lesions with their needless accusations that Job has no one to blame for his suffering but himself.

Along life’s journey, I’ve observed that it’s in life’s darkest moments that you learn who your true friends really are. My friend, Eric, often references “2:00 A.M. friends.” The friend you could call at two o’clock in the morning and say, “I need you” and they wouldn’t hesitate to jump out of bed and do whatever it was you needed. Eli, Bill, and Z feel more like “11:00 A.M. friends.” They’re the friends who show up unexpectedly an hour before noon and stay way longer than desired knowing that you eventually have to offer them lunch.

In today’s chapter, Job once again calls out his 11 A.M. Friends for offering him no comfort. He then repeats his refrain that he feels like God’s enemy. In graphic language, he shares that he sees God like a ravenous lion hunting him down, gnashing His teeth at Job, and tearing at Job’s flesh. He calls God his “opponent” who has “shattered” and “crushed” him. He believes that God has “targeted” him like a sniper or assassin, despite the fact that his “hands have been free of violence” and his “prayer is pure.”

Then, like the hapless Hogwart’s Professor Trelawney, Job makes another incredibly prophetic statement without even knowing it:

“Earth, do not cover my blood;
    may my cry never be laid to rest!
Even now my witness is in heaven;
    my advocate is on high.
My intercessor is my friend
    as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man he pleads with God
    as one pleads for a friend.”

Most scholars agree that the story of Job is ancient, perhaps as old as the Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the book of Genesis. These words of Job’s, however, clearly describe the spiritual paradigm that Jesus introduced on the night before His crucifixion. He told His disciples that He was going to Father God in heaven, and would send to them from heaven the Holy Spirit of God whom He repeatedly refers to as “the Advocate” (John 14-16). The Holy Spirit is my heavenly Advocate, God in me here on earth. Jesus, meanwhile, remains in heaven seated at the right-hand of Father God. He is also my Advocate, as John wrote:

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.
1 John 2:1-2 (NIV)

Two things from my meditations in the quiet this morning:

The first is simply the wonder of Job’s cry for a heavenly advocate who would see his tears and plead for him before God as a “friend.” Even this foreshadows Jesus’ very words in the Garden as He shared with the disciples about the Advocate He would send: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:14-16). It’s as if Job was given what theologians call “prevenient grace” to understand that, despite his despair, he literally does have a friend in heaven pleading his case.

I’m glad I have an Advocate both here and in heaven.

The second is another one of my random music connections. It played in my head as I wrote this post. The lyrics seem particularly apt in light of today’s chapter.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Carte Blanche Companions

Carte Blanche Companions (CaD 2 Sam 19) – Wayfarer

Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.”
2 Samuel 19:5-7 (NIV)

One of the most fascinating aspects of my day job is the opportunity I have to work with many different companies and to interact with people at diverse levels of the organization from the front line to the C Suite. Long ago I realized that the culture of a company is a trickle-down affair that begins with the man or woman at the very top. I remember one client whose CEO ran the company by fear and intimidation. No one would stand up to him, even when he is clearly mistaken or making a wrong move, for fear of losing their proverbial heads in a board meeting (and, perhaps, their jobs). The result was a highly dysfunctional organization that mirrored the CEO. The entire corporate culture was one of intimidation, fear, and c.y.a. It permeated virtually every level of the operation.

One of the things I’ve observed about David as I’ve been reading his story the past few months is the fact that David had a select group of men in his life who could get in his face and call him to account even if they had to be careful about how they did it. After his affair with Bathsheba, it was the prophet Nathan who got in his face. In today’s chapter, David’s general and right-hand man, Joab, confronts David about the grave danger he’s putting himself in by allowing his grief for Absalom to overshadow his duty as a king and general. The kingdom was in a precarious political situation and David was close to losing it all. Joab lost no time in bluntly confronting David and speaking the truth to him. To his credit, David listened to his long-time trusted general and advisor.

Ever since I was a young man, I have intentionally made sure that I always have at least a couple of friends in my life, men with whom I have intentionally surrounded myself, who have carte blanche to get in my face whenever necessary. These are men with whom I talk and share life on a regular basis. We talk about everything in life. If they think I’m screwing something up, then they have permission to question me or call me out, and they would expect the same from me.

This life journey can become a long slog at times. The first rule any child learns about hiking in the wilderness is “buddy up.” To go it alone is to put yourself in danger. Ironically, our greatest danger often resides within ourselves. Without faithful companions who can catch it and call us out, we may not realize it until it’s too late.

In the quiet this morning, I spent a few minutes recalling all of my carte blanche companions through the years, saying a prayer of gratitude and blessing over each one.

 A Note to Readers
I’m taking a blogging sabbatical and will be re-publishing my chapter-a-day thoughts on David’s continued story in 2 Samuel while I’m taking a little time off in order to focus on a few other priorities. Thanks for reading.
Today’s post was originally published in May 2014.

The featured image on today’s post was generated with Wonder A.I.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Vertical and Horizontal

Vertical and Horizontal (CaD Heb 13) – Wayfarer

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.
Hebrews 13:15-16 (NIV)

I began yesterday with coffee and an English muffin at a friend’s office. We chatted about what is going on in each other’s lives. We shared about the challenges we’re facing with family, work, and our bodies that are feeling the natural strains of age. We prayed together. It was a good start to the day.

It was St. Patrick’s Day, so Wendy and I knocked off of work a little early and met friends in the late afternoon for a pint and some Irish music. As the after-work crowds began to swell we were on our way to pick up pizza and retire to their house where we continued sharing life and conversation. Their college-age child was home on Spring Break and we got the whole 411 on life, studies, and relationships at school.

It was a fun day. It was late by the time we returned home.

In today’s final chapter of Hebrews, the author wraps up his letter with more exhortations to the Hebrew followers of Jesus for whom the letter was addressed. Throughout these instructions are more than subtle allusions to the old sacrificial system of Moses that the author has argued was fulfilled by Jesus and is no longer valid or necessary.

In that old system, there were all sorts of ritual religious sacrifices that an individual was expected to make in order to stay in good standing with God. Of course, like all religious rituals, it is possible for a person to go through the motions without there being a heart or life change, and the author has argued that Jesus has provided the once-for-all sacrifice through His death and resurrection.

“So, are there no more sacrifices?” the author hears his readers asking.

Yes, the author answers. The sacrifice of self just as Jesus taught that His followers must take up their own cross in following Him. Jesus’ word picture tells me that I’m supposed to die to myself, to sacrifice myself for God and others. The author provides a picture of this in continuous sacrifices that are both vertical (me to God) and horizontal (me to others). The vertical sacrifice is that I consciously, willfully stay connected to God through offering my praise and prayer (which is simply conversation). The horizontal sacrifice is my goodness and generosity towards others. Not just physical gifts and needs, but also the generosity and goodness of life and spirit through relationships and sharing the life journey together.

Which made me think of my day yesterday. Along my life journey, I’ve experienced that good relationships, the kind that is mutually and spiritually life-giving, require the ongoing generosity of time, conscious thought, intention, energy, vulnerability, and grace. Over time and in every case, every one of those ingredients becomes sacrificial for me as my friends may need more from me at certain times than I can comfortably provide. But the same is true on the other side of the equation. I need them at times and in ways that require their sacrificial generosity.

With Jesus, I can never get around the reality that He emptied Himself, left heaven, came to Earth, and endured the suffering of a horrific death. He sacrificed everything for me. I can ignore that fact. I might allow other thoughts and distractions to drive it from my mind, but it’s always there. What is asked of me in return? To live in a relationship that is essentially no different than my horizontal ones: time, conscious thought, intention, energy, vulnerability, and generosity that comes out in worship, prayer, life, obedience, trust, hope, and perseverance.

I’m grateful this morning for life-giving relationships, both horizontal and vertical.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.