Even though the destroyer has destroyed Judah,

Eight years ago this summer Wendy and I bought our little brick tudor house just a block north of the town square. I dubbed it “Vander Well Manor” on Foursquare, which never fails to make my heart smile. It is such a quaint little home that I have a hard time not romanticizing it. When I look at our house from the street I think of how Obi Wan Kenobi described the light saber: “an elegant [house] for a more civilized age.” It was about seventy years old when we bought it and was showing significant signs of age and wear. It has no central air conditioning and an ancient boiler from somewhere near the Eisenhower administration. We have slowly been updating and fixing what it desperately needs in the moment. We have done a lot, but there is so much more to do.

Over the past couple of years Wendy and I have engaged in a long, on-going conversation about the investment required in continuing to fix our little house up to bring it to the state we both really want it to be. Do we keep pumping time, energy and resources into the old house or do we invest in building something new from the ground up? It’s hard not to look at the numbers and think that selling this place and building something new might be the wiser investment. We have gone back and forth, but we keep ending up choosing restoration over replacement. We love this house. The girls come back and call it home. It is in this place that we’ve shared so much of life.

Beyond that, there is something spiritual in the theme of restoration that resonates deep within me. Throughout God’s Message we see God restoring what is old, broken and discarded and bringing out of it something more precious and powerful. The ancient, childless couple Abram and Sara become parents of the nations. The old and dishonored Moses is transformed into a leader for the ages. David, a scalawag bandit with a price on his head, who wanders in the desert for twenty years rises to unite the nation and  rule for 40 years. In today’s chapter Nahum envisions the restoration of Israel. Jesus’ bloody, crucified body is raised to new life of eternal splendor.  Twelve largely uneducated men of questionable character carry Jesus’ message to the nations and literally turn the world upside down. I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see. Restoration through God’s amazing grace.

So, perhaps I’m over spiritualizing it. Perhaps I’m waxing poetic so as to feel better about the money we just spent to pour a new front stoop and patio. The truth is that I love word pictures. They speak to the depths of my soul. Each time I drive home and pull into the driveway and then into the rotting garage with a door that won’t close, I am reminded that I too am a work in progress. Restoration takes time, energy and resources. God is not finished with me and, thankfully, hasn’t given up on me.

Related articles

• Refuge Amidst Rough Stretches of Life’s Path (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• Just A “One-Trick Prophet” In A Non-Believing World (theworddetective.wordpress.com)
• The Path to Restoration (minofeducation.wordpress.com)

Ubari Oasis (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Lord is good,
    a strong refuge when trouble comes.
    He is close to those who trust in him.
Nahum 1:7 (NLT)

Life’s journey takes each one of us through many different emotional terrains. Mountaintop passes offer breathtaking vistas. They are wonderful and inspiring, but the reality is that the path leading to the mountains usually contain long stretches of flat, barren plain in which each day seems much like the last, leaving you to wonder daily if you’re moving or making any progress at all. In contrast to the mountain tops, each life’s path eventually (often repeatedly) descends through dark valleys and rocky terrain that test our faith, will and perseverance.

We should not marvel at this. This is life. It’s a journey and a pilgrimage. If we don’t experience the emotional breadth of it, we’re not really living and making progress.

I have to be honest. I found today’s chapter to read like a dark valley through rocky terrain of anger, wrath, and judgment. I laughed to myself as I began to read. There’s no real reason why I picked the ancient prophet Nahum to start reading today. It has three chapters and there are three days left in the week. No big spiritual discernment in that choice. Still, the vitriol and dark words of judgement seem an emotional enmeshment for my own path in recent weeks. Just great. It’s not enough that I’ve got an acute case of the blues, I thought to myself, now God has to pile on.

Then, as I’m reading through the haunting words of Nahum’s message to Nineveh and groaning under the weight of my spirit, I run headlong into the verse above which sits nestled in the middle of a message of woe. An oasis of fresh living water in the midst of a desolate, barren wilderness. Just when we need it most, we find a life giving way-station for the soul. A message of refreshment. A reminder of the reality that if we have faith, God is a true place of refuge amidst the difficult stretches of our journey.

[Believers] should be obedient, always ready to do what is good.

[God] saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5 (NLT) [emphasis added]

In acting you learn to study a character’s motivation:

• “Why does my character say this?”
• “What is driving my character to do this?”
• “What is it that my character wants when he walks over here?”

Motivation is also critical in understanding our real life and relationships. It is essential, I believe and have discovered, in understanding my relationship with God.

I believe one of the most important lessons we can know about God’s Message to us is this: Entering a relationship with God, attaining eternal life, and receiving forgiveness for our tragic choices and mistakes cannot be earned through “doing good” or “living a good life.” It comes as a gift through what Jesus did when he suffered, died, and rose from the dead. All we do is humbly acknowledge it, receive the gift, and ask Him to come into our life.

For me, it was a simple conversation with God I quietly had in my head and heart in which I said, “God, I know I’ve blown it a million different ways. I need you. I believe that you died for me, and I want you to in my heart and life. I give my life over to you.” Once I took this step and received the Gift, I was inspired and motivated to do good works in response to this extravagant gift of Life I had been given.

The critical differentiation is in the motivation of the good that we do. We do good, not out of a motivation to earn God’s favor or stack the spiritual ledger in our favor with the hope that it might be enough to get us into heaven. Our motive for doing good is overflowing gratitude for the Gift we have been freely given through God’s kindness and mercy.

As with acting, if you don’t get the motivation right then our faith is only a poor attempt at going through the motions.

Summers mean sun and fun on the water for Wendy and me. This is the time of year that we’re chomping at the bit for summer and the beginning of regular migration of family and friends to join us for time at the Playhouse on Lake of the Ozarks. Wendy and I have already made a couple of trips to get things out of storage, do spring cleaning, and prepare for the season. The weather in March and April was too cool and wet for our liking. And, while Memorial Day weekend is the official start to the summer season at the lake, we got an early start on the festivities when our friends Matthew and Sarah joined us last weekend.

Friday was overcast and drizzly with a cold north wind, but we still found our way down to the dock for snacks and chat while huddling in jackets and blankets. We headed to Cap’n Ron’s for pizza in the evening and then returned to watch Midnight in Paris. More conversation followed while Matthew melted into the couch. This is not surprising. We call it the “Lake Effect” when guests (as Grandma Jeanne puts it) melt into little puddles. I had to give Matthew a hard time because he’d been talking about looking forward to an early morning cup of coffee on the dock, but he slept far later than anticipated!

The sun came out Saturday. While there was a stiff, cold north wind the temps were in the low 70s and the sun was hot. We went out for a long, slow boat ride down to Bare Bottom and back, then ate lunch on the deck and chatted the afternoon away while getting nice and sunburned. We stoked the grill, opened a nice bottle of wine and had surf and turf for dinner: Prime Rib and smoked salmon. While we had discussed watching another movie, the dinner conversation kept us at the table until almost 11:00 p.m.!

As always, time flew too fast and the time to come home came too quickly. We got the place cleaned up and headed home on Mother’s Day. Wendy got calls from the girls and we arrived at home to find a nice card from Madison in the mail and gifts left at the house from Taylor and Clayton.

Let summer begin! The Playhouse is open!!

Last Sunday (Mother’s Day) I was inspired by our daughters who both did a nice job of honoring, not only their mother, but also the women in their lives who have been “motherly” examples to them and made a difference in their lives. It caused me earlier this week to think of Father’s Day which is coming up in a few weeks and the men who have had a profound influence on my life over the years.

I love little moments of synchronicity in life. As I read Paul’s letter this morning and his admonishment for men to mentor young men and women to mentor young women, it seemed to flow naturally into the stream of recent thought. So, despite the fact that Father’s Day isn’t until June, I’m striking while the iron is hot. Here’s a little shout out to the older men in my life who were significant in teaching me through the years and making me the man I am today….

• To my teachers like Mr. Parks, Mr. Danielson, and Professors Larson and McFadzean who inspired me, put up with me, and stoked my passions for history and the arts.
• To Chuck who brought me up in the faith, challenged me, encouraged me, and gave me incredible opportunities that molded my character and my entire life journey.
• To Andy who was the greatest youth pastor in this history of the universe and has been a life long example of humility, love, and living like Jesus.
• To my grandfathers who each put their unique brand on my life.
• To my brothers Tim & Terry who let me hang with them as a bratty little brother, whom I respect to this day, and who inspired me in a million ways they probably don’t even realize.
• And of course, to my ever present father who never ceased telling me he loved me, who blessed me by telling me he was proud of me, who taught by example the character qualities of discipline, hard work, honesty, and integrity. And, who has shown me that God’s work in your heart and life is never finished. He’s never stopped growing, learning, asking, seeking, and knocking. And, God willing, neither will I as I follow in his footsteps.

Women, teach younger women, and lead by living example.
Men, teach younger men, and lead by living example.

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Rather, [an Elder] must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life.
Titus 1:8 (NLT)

I’ve recently been reading Good to Great by Jim Collins. In the book, Collins and his research team studied the qualities of leadership among a small handful of executives who had led their companies from a status of mediocrity to rising above the competition and realizing long term success. Among the list of qualities these leaders displayed was the ability to put the right people in the right positions to maximize their strengths. Any business leaders knows that getting the right people in the right jobs is a critical component to prosperity.

In the decades following Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, His followers spread out around the known world to share their story so that others might believe. Paul (a.k.a. Saul), who began as vehement enemy of Jesus’ followers, had an encounter with the resurrected Jesus and quickly became a passionate believer and follower. Paul journeyed all through Greece telling people about Jesus and organizing believers into local churches.

Titus is a letter from Paul to the man for whom it is named. After Paul had shared the message about Jesus with people on the island of Crete, many of them believed. Paul left Titus behind and charged him with the task of organizing these groups of believers on the island of Crete. One of the most critical tasks in this rapidly growing organization of followers was finding capable leaders. In today’s chapter Paul provides Titus with a description of the type of leader to look for in an effort to find the right man for the job.

As I read through the description this morning I thought of a good friend of mine who was recently asked to consider the possibility of being named “Elder” in his local congregation. After two centuries, the practice of finding and appointing capable leaders among believers is still an on-going practice. My friend was honored by the request, and I thought of him as I read Paul’s description. As I reached the above verse I thought of the countless times I have been a guest in his home for meals, for refreshment, and for meaningful conversation. I thought of the goodness and life that he earnestly seeks after. I remembered words of wisdom he has shared with me over the years and the example he has been to me of a devout and disciplined life in his pursuit of being like Jesus. I was happy for him, and blessed to know a person who is a perfect fit for the job Paul described two thousand years ago.

She brings him good, not harm,

In the book His Needs Her Needs, Willard Harley presents a very simple word picture to describe the give and take that happens within marriage on a moment by moment, day by day basis. He asks couples to picture an internal ”love tank” that we all have. With our thoughts, words, and actions we can either make deposits in our spouses love tank that fill them up and produce an increasing sense of love and well being or we can make withrawls that slowly deplete the love tank until our spouse feels empty and drained, and depleted.

Wendy and I talk a lot about marriage. We talk a lot about our relationship and relationships in general. Like every marriage, ours is a union of two broken people living in a fallen world. We are in a unique situation. We work together for the same company out of our home office. We serve together in the visual tech ministry of our church. We re-create together as board members and participants in the local theatrical community. With little exception Wendy and I are around one another 24/7/365.

Ask Wendy or me about the other’s shortcomings and we can supply you with an ample list. We are far from perfect people, and being around one another all the time produces no shortage of opportunities to see one another at our worst. A good friend of mine recently asked me about his observation that there is a genuine loving-kindness he witnesses between Wendy despite the fact that we are around one another all the time. It’s really pretty simple I told him: she fills my love tank, and I do my best to fill hers.

Wendy has chosen in to the things I love. She’s joined the tragic ranks of Cubs fans. She switched allegiance from her Denver Broncos to make my Vikings her favorite team. To be honest, I know she really doesn’t care that much, but she knows that I do and that’s the point. She is considerate of the things that trip my trigger and makes an effort to trip my trigger on a constant basis. I am so knocked out, blessed that I want nothing more than to return the favor and consideration by discovering what trips her trigger and returning the favor. It’s been a process, but I think I’m getting there. When things get tense between us, and they do, the anger and ill feelings quickly drown in our love tanks which are overflowing.

I have observed many marriages which operate in a daily tit-for-tat game of competitive love tank withdrawl: “If you get to do this, then I get to do that. It’s my turn. Let me check the ledger and check the tally. You owe me. It’s time to pay the debt, baby and believe me the interest on that debt has been compounding daily!” Rather than viewing the fulfillment of their spouses need as a good thing for the relationship as a whole, they begin to view it as a diminishment of their own love tank.

I know that this is a simplistic word picture in the complex relationship that is marriage. Yet when I read the above verse, my soul says “That nails it. That describes Wendy. She makes constant deposits in my love tank that far outnumber the withdrawls.”

Today, I’m reminded that I can’t control my spouse, but I can control my own thoughts, words and actions. I want to do good, and not harm. I want to make deposits into Wendy’s love tank, not withdrawls.

Related articles

• Speaking Another Person’s Love Language (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• A Fruitful Marriage- Kindness (auntieemsguide.wordpress.com)
• What I Really Need More of: Contentment (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• Life Giving Conversations (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)

There are three things that are never satisfied—no, four that never say, “Enough!”: the grave,the barren womb,the thirsty desert,the blazing fire. Proverbs 30:15-16

Several years ago I watched an action movie called Ronin that centered on a group of mercenaries hired to protect and transport a metal briefcase. The team quickly learns that there are many others who are willing to expend any and all means to get their hands on that case. Plenty of Hollywood stunts, explosions, gun fights, and car chases ensue. But, here’s the kicker: you never learn what’s in the metal case!

Many people told me they hated the film, but I found it an interesting premise that touches on a theme of human existence: life is full of unanswered questions and unsatisfied longings.

We would all love for life to always have a happy Hollywood ending. Perhaps we’ve allowed Hollywood to subtly deceive us into thinking that a Hollywood ending is what we deserve and should expect. Jesus’ teaching continually painted a different picture. While promising eternal joy, He also told us to expect temporal difficulties. We don’t discover the former without experiencing the latter.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is more hope for a fool
    than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Proverbs 29:2o (NLT)

I remember watching a press conference on television many years ago. The press were gathered around the podium of the official in a huddled mass. Cameras were clicking and whirring. There was a din of activity in the room as they pushed in around the speaker. Bright lights blazed in his eyes and a gaggle of people pressed in on the man from behind as well as in front.

A reporter fired a question at him. There was silence as the speaker stood and looked down at the podium. Seconds passed. Murmurs rose among the press. Cameras clicked as the speaker said nothing, but continued to look down with furrowed brow. You could feel the sense of curiosity in the room. It became almost a panic. What was wrong? What was happening? Why wasn’t he saying anything? The reporter fired another question at the official who immediately held up his hand and interrupted the reporter.

“Give me just a moment, please. I’m thinking about your question and I want to respond to it appropriately, but I find it better to think about what I’m going to say before I open my mouth.”

I’ve never seen anyone in a press conference say or do anything like that before. It stuck in my memory and I’ve never forgotten it. Here was a wise man who was not going to be bullied by the pressure of the moment and a chaotic press corp rifling questions at him. He understood Solomon’s words.

A mentor of mine used to consistently pray this prayer: “Lord, help me to know when to speak, and when to be silent.” I find myself repeating it often in my own whispered plea. When caught off guard it is foolish to speak without thinking. Better to say nothing than to say something foolish that will haunt you ever after.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When there is moral rot within a nation, its government topples easily.
    But wise and knowledgeable leaders bring stability.
Proverbs 28:2 (NLT)

Forgive my little rant this morning, but this proverb reminded me of some things that have been rattling around in my head. There three things that I find rotten in our system of government (any and all political parties included) and I would find rotten in any system of government anywhere in the world:

Professional politicians. I like the idea our founding fathers had of citizens giving service to their country while having to provide for themselves in honest enterprise back home. I believe that a government full of professional politicians is a government full of men and women who will eventually lose touch with what’s it’s like to be an everyday citizen back home. People are people. They will eventually care less about the good of the whole than they will about solidifying their power base, covering their rear ends, getting re-elected and lining their own pockets for retirement. This is why we need checks and balances. I believe we would be better off if there were term and service limits for all elected offices, not just the presidency.

Pork barrel spending. It is dishonest to attach appropriations for spending tax dollars on pet projects to bills and laws that have nothing to do with said projects. This is, however, the way our government has worked for a long time. Powerful professional congressmen who, through seniority, have attained powerful committee positions attach all sorts of spending appropriations to bills so that federal money flows to projects and causes for which professional lobbyists have leveraged and in exchange (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) powerful individuals and corporations will deposit money in their election war chest. We never see or hear about these appropriations unless we really dig, and the president has no power to veto them unless he wants to veto the whole bill. It’s a scam and a big reason that we’re trillions of dollars in debt.

Hypocritical entitlement. Government officials should be required to abide by every law they pass without exception. Unfortunately, I believe that professional politicians who make their own rules, set their own salaries, and determine their own rules will eventually rig the system in subtle ways to benefit themselves without setting off any alarms among the constituency. If congress wants to pass health care legislation for the entire country, then they and their families should be required to live fully under the plan. If they are going to hold citizens accountable for insider trading, then they should not be allowed to use information gained from their government positions for their own personal gain. That just seems like common sense.

Thank you. Rant over.

Have a good weekend!