For I am waiting for you, O Lord.
You must answer for me, O Lord my God.
Psalm 38:15 (NLT)
I once worked for a man who had everything going for him in the world. He was a popular, respected man in the community, in the media, and in the local church. His spit-polished, picture perfect life was regularly and subtly trotted out as the ideal for others to aspire. It did not take me long to figure out how much of that was window-dressing.
Sometimes we look back at pieces of our journey and, in hindsight, realize why we needed to know certain people or do certain things. For me, my tenure working for Mr. Perfect was an imortant lesson in who I did not want to be. Everyone has their faults, even those whose lives are decorated for public consumption.
One of the things I love about King David’s songs is his gut wrenching honesty. Today’s psalm is Exhibit A. How many kings are going to write a blues song about their sin, guilt and shame and admit to the consequences of sin in their current troubles? I appreciate David’s genuine honesty and his willingness to be human despite the pressure to appear god-like in his royalty.
Many years ago a close friend who intimately knew my whole story observed that my life was a “slow deconstruction” of the very type of picture perfect image my old boss wore so effortlessly. I see the truth in what he was saying. Keep the wrecking ball going. I’d prefer to be like David with all of the pain and heartache which comes from living genuinely.
Jesus called me to live in such a way that I might be light to those living in darkness. The further I get in life’s journey the more I’ve come to believe that those in darkness are not drawn to a flashy, neon mirage of perfection that seems so foreign to them. I think they are drawn to the subtle flicker of genuine sinners saved by grace.