The Playhouse Opens for the Summer!

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Summers mean sun and fun on the water for Wendy and me. This is the time of year that we’re chomping at the bit for summer and the beginning of regular migration of family and friends to join us for time at the Playhouse on Lake of the Ozarks. Wendy and I have already made a couple of trips to get things out of storage, do spring cleaning, and prepare for the season. The weather in March and April was too cool and wet for our liking. And, while Memorial Day weekend is the official start to the summer season at the lake, we got an early start on the festivities when our friends Matthew and Sarah joined us last weekend.

Friday was overcast and drizzly with a cold north wind, but we still found our way down to the dock for snacks and chat while huddling in jackets and blankets. We headed to Cap’n Ron’s for pizza in the evening and then returned to watch Midnight in Paris. More conversation followed while Matthew melted into the couch. This is not surprising. We call it the “Lake Effect” when guests (as Grandma Jeanne puts it) melt into little puddles. I had to give Matthew a hard time because he’d been talking about looking forward to an early morning cup of coffee on the dock, but he slept far later than anticipated!

The sun came out Saturday. While there was a stiff, cold north wind the temps were in the low 70s and the sun was hot. We went out for a long, slow boat ride down to Bare Bottom and back, then ate lunch on the deck and chatted the afternoon away while getting nice and sunburned. We stoked the grill, opened a nice bottle of wine and had surf and turf for dinner: Prime Rib and smoked salmon. While we had discussed watching another movie, the dinner conversation kept us at the table until almost 11:00 p.m.!

As always, time flew too fast and the time to come home came too quickly. We got the place cleaned up and headed home on Mother’s Day. Wendy got calls from the girls and we arrived at home to find a nice card from Madison in the mail and gifts left at the house from Taylor and Clayton.

Let summer begin! The Playhouse is open!!

Men Who’ve Made a Difference…In Me

In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely.
Titus 2:6 (NLT)

Last Sunday (Mother’s Day) I was inspired by our daughters who both did a nice job of honoring, not only their mother, but also the women in their lives who have been “motherly” examples to them and made a difference in their lives. It caused me earlier this week to think of Father’s Day which is coming up in a few weeks and the men who have had a profound influence on my life over the years.

I love little moments of synchronicity in life. As I read Paul’s letter this morning and his admonishment for men to mentor young men and women to mentor young women, it seemed to flow naturally into the stream of recent thought. So, despite the fact that Father’s Day isn’t until June, I’m striking while the iron is hot. Here’s a little shout out to the older men in my life who were significant in teaching me through the years and making me the man I am today….

• To my teachers like Mr. Parks, Mr. Danielson, and Professors Larson and McFadzean who inspired me, put up with me, and stoked my passions for history and the arts.
• To Chuck who brought me up in the faith, challenged me, encouraged me, and gave me incredible opportunities that molded my character and my entire life journey.
• To Andy who was the greatest youth pastor in this history of the universe and has been a life long example of humility, love, and living like Jesus.
• To my grandfathers who each put their unique brand on my life.
• To my brothers Tim & Terry who let me hang with them as a bratty little brother, whom I respect to this day, and who inspired me in a million ways they probably don’t even realize.
• And of course, to my ever present father who never ceased telling me he loved me, who blessed me by telling me he was proud of me, who taught by example the character qualities of discipline, hard work, honesty, and integrity. And, who has shown me that God’s work in your heart and life is never finished. He’s never stopped growing, learning, asking, seeking, and knocking. And, God willing, neither will I as I follow in his footsteps.

Women, teach younger women, and lead by living example.
Men, teach younger men, and lead by living example.

The Right Person for the Job

Cover via Amazon

Rather, [an Elder] must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life.
Titus 1:8 (NLT)

I’ve recently been reading Good to Great by Jim Collins. In the book, Collins and his research team studied the qualities of leadership among a small handful of executives who had led their companies from a status of mediocrity to rising above the competition and realizing long term success. Among the list of qualities these leaders displayed was the ability to put the right people in the right positions to maximize their strengths. Any business leaders knows that getting the right people in the right jobs is a critical component to prosperity.

In the decades following Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, His followers spread out around the known world to share their story so that others might believe. Paul (a.k.a. Saul), who began as vehement enemy of Jesus’ followers, had an encounter with the resurrected Jesus and quickly became a passionate believer and follower. Paul journeyed all through Greece telling people about Jesus and organizing believers into local churches.

Titus is a letter from Paul to the man for whom it is named. After Paul had shared the message about Jesus with people on the island of Crete, many of them believed. Paul left Titus behind and charged him with the task of organizing these groups of believers on the island of Crete. One of the most critical tasks in this rapidly growing organization of followers was finding capable leaders. In today’s chapter Paul provides Titus with a description of the type of leader to look for in an effort to find the right man for the job.

As I read through the description this morning I thought of a good friend of mine who was recently asked to consider the possibility of being named “Elder” in his local congregation. After two centuries, the practice of finding and appointing capable leaders among believers is still an on-going practice. My friend was honored by the request, and I thought of him as I read Paul’s description. As I reached the above verse I thought of the countless times I have been a guest in his home for meals, for refreshment, and for meaningful conversation. I thought of the goodness and life that he earnestly seeks after. I remembered words of wisdom he has shared with me over the years and the example he has been to me of a devout and disciplined life in his pursuit of being like Jesus. I was happy for him, and blessed to know a person who is a perfect fit for the job Paul described two thousand years ago.

Fill ‘er Up

She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:12 (NLT)

In the book His Needs Her Needs, Willard Harley presents a very simple word picture to describe the give and take that happens within marriage on a moment by moment, day by day basis. He asks couples to picture an internal ”love tank” that we all have. With our thoughts, words, and actions we can either make deposits in our spouses love tank that fill them up and produce an increasing sense of love and well being or we can make withrawls that slowly deplete the love tank until our spouse feels empty and drained, and depleted.

Wendy and I talk a lot about marriage. We talk a lot about our relationship and relationships in general. Like every marriage, ours is a union of two broken people living in a fallen world. We are in a unique situation. We work together for the same company out of our home office. We serve together in the visual tech ministry of our church. We re-create together as board members and participants in the local theatrical community. With little exception Wendy and I are around one another 24/7/365.

Ask Wendy or me about the other’s shortcomings and we can supply you with an ample list. We are far from perfect people, and being around one another all the time produces no shortage of opportunities to see one another at our worst. A good friend of mine recently asked me about his observation that there is a genuine loving-kindness he witnesses between Wendy despite the fact that we are around one another all the time. It’s really pretty simple I told him: she fills my love tank, and I do my best to fill hers.

Wendy has chosen in to the things I love. She’s joined the tragic ranks of Cubs fans. She switched allegiance from her Denver Broncos to make my Vikings her favorite team. To be honest, I know she really doesn’t care that much, but she knows that I do and that’s the point. She is considerate of the things that trip my trigger and makes an effort to trip my trigger on a constant basis. I am so knocked out, blessed that I want nothing more than to return the favor and consideration by discovering what trips her trigger and returning the favor. It’s been a process, but I think I’m getting there. When things get tense between us, and they do, the anger and ill feelings quickly drown in our love tanks which are overflowing.

I have observed many marriages which operate in a daily tit-for-tat game of competitive love tank withdrawl: “If you get to do this, then I get to do that. It’s my turn. Let me check the ledger and check the tally. You owe me. It’s time to pay the debt, baby and believe me the interest on that debt has been compounding daily!” Rather than viewing the fulfillment of their spouses need as a good thing for the relationship as a whole, they begin to view it as a diminishment of their own love tank.

I know that this is a simplistic word picture in the complex relationship that is marriage. Yet when I read the above verse, my soul says “That nails it. That describes Wendy. She makes constant deposits in my love tank that far outnumber the withdrawls.”

Today, I’m reminded that I can’t control my spouse, but I can control my own thoughts, words and actions. I want to do good, and not harm. I want to make deposits into Wendy’s love tank, not withdrawls.

Related articles

• Speaking Another Person’s Love Language (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• A Fruitful Marriage- Kindness (auntieemsguide.wordpress.com)
• What I Really Need More of: Contentment (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• Life Giving Conversations (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)

Hollywood Endings

There are three things that are never satisfied—no, four that never say, “Enough!”: the grave,the barren womb,the thirsty desert,the blazing fire. Proverbs 30:15-16

Several years ago I watched an action movie called Ronin that centered on a group of mercenaries hired to protect and transport a metal briefcase. The team quickly learns that there are many others who are willing to expend any and all means to get their hands on that case. Plenty of Hollywood stunts, explosions, gun fights, and car chases ensue. But, here’s the kicker: you never learn what’s in the metal case!

Many people told me they hated the film, but I found it an interesting premise that touches on a theme of human existence: life is full of unanswered questions and unsatisfied longings.

We would all love for life to always have a happy Hollywood ending. Perhaps we’ve allowed Hollywood to subtly deceive us into thinking that a Hollywood ending is what we deserve and should expect. Jesus’ teaching continually painted a different picture. While promising eternal joy, He also told us to expect temporal difficulties. We don’t discover the former without experiencing the latter.

Wisdom is Knowing When to Remain Silent

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is more hope for a fool
    than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Proverbs 29:2o (NLT)

I remember watching a press conference on television many years ago. The press were gathered around the podium of the official in a huddled mass. Cameras were clicking and whirring. There was a din of activity in the room as they pushed in around the speaker. Bright lights blazed in his eyes and a gaggle of people pressed in on the man from behind as well as in front.

A reporter fired a question at him. There was silence as the speaker stood and looked down at the podium. Seconds passed. Murmurs rose among the press. Cameras clicked as the speaker said nothing, but continued to look down with furrowed brow. You could feel the sense of curiosity in the room. It became almost a panic. What was wrong? What was happening? Why wasn’t he saying anything? The reporter fired another question at the official who immediately held up his hand and interrupted the reporter.

“Give me just a moment, please. I’m thinking about your question and I want to respond to it appropriately, but I find it better to think about what I’m going to say before I open my mouth.”

I’ve never seen anyone in a press conference say or do anything like that before. It stuck in my memory and I’ve never forgotten it. Here was a wise man who was not going to be bullied by the pressure of the moment and a chaotic press corp rifling questions at him. He understood Solomon’s words.

A mentor of mine used to consistently pray this prayer: “Lord, help me to know when to speak, and when to be silent.” I find myself repeating it often in my own whispered plea. When caught off guard it is foolish to speak without thinking. Better to say nothing than to say something foolish that will haunt you ever after.

Three Things Rotten in the State of [Any Country]

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When there is moral rot within a nation, its government topples easily.
    But wise and knowledgeable leaders bring stability.
Proverbs 28:2 (NLT)

Forgive my little rant this morning, but this proverb reminded me of some things that have been rattling around in my head. There three things that I find rotten in our system of government (any and all political parties included) and I would find rotten in any system of government anywhere in the world:

Professional politicians. I like the idea our founding fathers had of citizens giving service to their country while having to provide for themselves in honest enterprise back home. I believe that a government full of professional politicians is a government full of men and women who will eventually lose touch with what’s it’s like to be an everyday citizen back home. People are people. They will eventually care less about the good of the whole than they will about solidifying their power base, covering their rear ends, getting re-elected and lining their own pockets for retirement. This is why we need checks and balances. I believe we would be better off if there were term and service limits for all elected offices, not just the presidency.

Pork barrel spending. It is dishonest to attach appropriations for spending tax dollars on pet projects to bills and laws that have nothing to do with said projects. This is, however, the way our government has worked for a long time. Powerful professional congressmen who, through seniority, have attained powerful committee positions attach all sorts of spending appropriations to bills so that federal money flows to projects and causes for which professional lobbyists have leveraged and in exchange (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) powerful individuals and corporations will deposit money in their election war chest. We never see or hear about these appropriations unless we really dig, and the president has no power to veto them unless he wants to veto the whole bill. It’s a scam and a big reason that we’re trillions of dollars in debt.

Hypocritical entitlement. Government officials should be required to abide by every law they pass without exception. Unfortunately, I believe that professional politicians who make their own rules, set their own salaries, and determine their own rules will eventually rig the system in subtle ways to benefit themselves without setting off any alarms among the constituency. If congress wants to pass health care legislation for the entire country, then they and their families should be required to live fully under the plan. If they are going to hold citizens accountable for insider trading, then they should not be allowed to use information gained from their government positions for their own personal gain. That just seems like common sense.

Thank you. Rant over.

Have a good weekend!

What I Really Need More of: Contentment

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied,
    so human desire is never satisfied.
Proverbs 27:20 (NLT)

When I was a kid growing up in Des Moines, the local DX gas station just a few blocks from our house was converted into a 7-11 store. I would ride my bike to the 7-11 to purchase pop and candy. I remember when the “Big Gulp” made its debut. Pop came in small, medium, large and then they introduced the 32 oz grand-daddy of them all. I loved getting my Big Gulp and showing my bicycling prowess by riding hands-free back home while holding my ginormous drink.

Go into a 7-11 today and I find that the Big Gulp is now the smallest option. You can get the Super Big Gulp or the Double Big Gulp. What a great word picture for where we are as a culture.

I find that contentment is both elusive and ignored in our society. You will hear precious few sermons about contentment from pulpits on Sunday. Even our churches are driven by the “bigger is better” paradigm in this age of “Mega-churches.” Our economic system is based on lack of contentment driving non-stop desire which drives the market with consumers wanting more, better, faster, cooler, and bigger. Bigger is better. More is better. You can never have enough.

As a result I find myself overfed, overstimulated, oversold, overstressed, over scheduled, inundated, and indebted. The merry-go-round is spinning out of control and I am in desperate need to get off.

Extracting ourselves from the spinning, out-of-control ride of life begins with a pesky little character quality called contentment.

Time Reveals Truth

Wendy and me in front of a portrait of H.P. Scholte.

Smooth words may hide a wicked heart,
just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot.
Proverbs 26:23 (NLT)

This past week I portrayed one of our town’s founders, H.P. Scholte, in a one act play at our local Opera House. In preparation for portraying the man (whom I’ve now played in three separate productions) I’ve done plenty of research into his past and his story. Scholte was a fascinating man. The son of a wealthy industrialist in Holland, he began as an art student but soon gave up his paintbrush for the pulpit. He was a brilliant scholar, a gifted preacher, and a charismatic leader. Having run afoul of the state church of the Netherlands (for which he was imprisoned multiple times), Scholte convinced nearly 800 of his followers to invest their life savings with him, accompany him on a perilous journey to the American frontier and build an entire town where there was nothing but prairie grass.

As I read accounts and letters of his followers to the new world, two very different pictures emerge. Many saw Scholte as a charlatan and scam-artist. They were convinced that he took advantage of his followers, used their money for his personal gain and lied to them about the prosperity of American before leading them to hell on earth. Others never wavered in their trust of Scholte and his vision. They followed him faithfully. I have always been amazed at the two very different men described by Scholte’s followers. It begs the question: Was he a vessel of God, or was he a glazed pot described in the proverb above? I have been so captivated by the matter that I even wrote my own one act play that exploring the question.

Fast forward 160 years. Our community gathers each year to celebrate its heritage and tens of thousands of people gather from around the world to experience it. Look around and you will find a prosperous small town with a thriving economy, a quality educational system and a deep appreciation for the values of family and faith. Scholte’s vision and commitment have been realized. He proved to be a useful vessel who accomplished much for which countless residents owe their thanks through many generations. Scholte wasn’t perfect, to be sure, but time and reality have proven that he wasn’t and empty, glazed crack-pot.

I look back over the years and think of the occasional times that I have been accused of things. Anyone in any position of leadership will experience this. Many have looked at me and accused me of being a glazed pot. It’s never fun when your motives and character are questioned and maligned. In these times I think about people like Scholte. I can’t control what others think and say. I can’t change the perception of others. I can only continue to follow the path and do my best each day to live out the course God has laid for me.

Time reveals truth.

Related articles

• Everyone’s a Critic (and, Appropriately, Should Be) (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• TULIP TIME: Weather Won’t Dampen Events (whotv.com)
• Union Street Players production “Letters from Pella”
• Pella Tulip Time

[An index of all Tom's chapter-a-day posts covering every book and chapter]

 

Everyone’s a Critic (and, Appropriately, Should Be)

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry.
Proverbs 25:12 (NLT)

A little over a year ago I wrote a blog post entitled 10 Ways Being a Theatre Major Prepared Me for Success. The post went viral and has found its way into some very interesting places, for which I’m both surprised and grateful. That post sprang to mind this morning as I read the proverb above.

One of the most important lessons I learned being a theatre major (one, that for some reason, didn’t make my list) was the ability to accept and provide appropriate criticism. My theatre prof taught us to solicit criticism as actors. He once told us, “never blindly accept when a person tells you ‘you did a good job.’ Always ask ‘what exactly did you find good about it?’” If you did something well you need to understand what it was so that you can repeat it. If you missed the mark in some way, you need to know that too. How can we improve unless some one can observe and provide us with appropriate feedback?

Last weekend Wendy and I performed in a one-act play at the Pella Opera House for the local Tulip Time festival. With each show our director provided me with valid and crucial piece of criticism. Before opening night she told me that with one long line in which I explode in anger I had exploded too soon in the previous dress rehearsal and peaked out early in the line rather than building to the explosion. She was right. Before another performance she told me that I’d allowed too much dead air before another actor’s entrance and needed to fill it with a line. She was right. Rather than getting defensive and feeling like her criticism was inherently negative and destructive, I embraced what she was telling me. Her criticism, even in the late stages of production, allowed me to improve my individual performance and the overall quality of the show.

Looking back over the years I realize that seeing and thinking critically has been a crucial part of the successes I’ve experienced along life’s road. Having the character to weigh and accept criticism of others, and learning to provide valid, useful criticism to others is a tremendously important component of growth, maturity and wholeness.

Related articles

• Wisdom is Knowing When to Call a Pro (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• Life Giving Conversations (tomvanderwell.wordpress.com)
• Tulip Time in Iowa a little chillier than Holland (hollandsentinel.com)
• Let the problem hang itself (lie2meifuwill.wordpress.com)

[An index of all Tom's chapter-a-day posts covering every book and chapter]